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If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9)
This week, we discussed confession and repentance. Another critical piece of this process is examination. Ken Sande explains, “One evidence of sincere repentance is a willingness to thoroughly examine ourselves so that we can uncover both our sins and mistakes.”
It’s important to understand the difference between mistakes and sin. Mistakes are errors in judgment, often unintentional, while sin involves a conscious choice to go our own way instead of God’s way. God’s way is always the best way, and sin is rebellion against His plan. We need to examine our actions and admit when something we are tempted to call a mistake is actually a sin.
David reflects on this in Psalm 51:4:
“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict.”
Every sin is ultimately against God. We often are tempted to categorize some sins as “little white sins,” thinking they aren’t significant—but there are no “little” sins in God’s book. James 4:17 also reminds us that failing to do what we know is right is a sin, often referred to as sins of omission.
To truly grow, we must distinguish between mistakes and sin. Too often, we conceal, deny, or excuse our wrongdoings. But just as you can’t fix a house by covering rotten roof beams with drywall, we can’t hide our sins if we desire restoration—in our relationships with God or others.
Another obstacle to true repentance is blame-shifting. We may admit to doing wrong but justify it by claiming, “I wasn’t as wrong as the other person.” True repentance requires us to take full responsibility for our sins without shifting blame.
When conflicts arise in our lives, there are many areas where sin may take root. We might sin through our words—using our tongues as weapons through gossip, deceit, grumbling, or slander to tear others down because they hurt us. Or we might sin through controlling behaviors, such as manipulating situations or forcing decisions on others. Refusing to respect someone’s autonomy crosses a line and creates conflict.
Other causes of conflict include:
- Disrespecting others or breaking promises.
- Allowing sinful habits and desires to take over.
- Acting out of fear or insecurity.
- Neglecting the principle: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
As Christians, we are called to examine our hearts for unmet desires and acknowledge where we have sinned if we want true restoration. Ask yourself:
- What kinds of arguments do I repeatedly find myself in?
- What triggers my frustration or anger?
- What tools can I use to prevent or resolve conflict in a God-honoring way?
Through honest self-examination and repentance, we can find the path to peace and restoration.